I'm worried about my behaviour

Man and woman both upset, head in hands, facing away from each other

It takes strength to admit that you could be abusing your partner or family member.

If you really want to change, you can. Abusive bahviours are often learned ones. They can be unlearned, but only if you:

Accept responsibility for the abuse. You cannot blame your actions on your partner or family member, alcohol, drugs, stress or work
Accept that the abuse comes from your desire to control your partner or family member. Understand the ways you control that person and why you behave like this
Realise that you have a choice. You choose to be violent or abusive, and you can choose not to be
Accept that your partner or family member has a right to live their own life without being dominated and controlled
Stop using anger to control your partner or family member
Seek help and support from professionals. Start by talking to your GP who can refer you for counselling, or contact a local or national support group

Further help and advice

Respect

You can also contact Respect - the national association for domestic violence perpetrator programmes and associated support services - to help you find a programme.

Call: 0808 802 4040